ADD/ADHD

Posted by Darcy Andries

One of the hardest tasks for anybody with ADHD is to maintain focus. You may have noticed a slight slump in my activities here at Suite101 lately. As with any ADHDer I was out of the starting gate with a flash. After a few weeks, my enthusiasm and energy towards the task started to decline. To use my racing horse metaphor: I sort of stopped to eat the grass and forgot I was in the middle of a race.

This is probably the most difficult obsticle for any ADHDer to overcome. I still struggle with it. Any task where I'm not extremely motivated and there is no great reward is difficult.

And we avoid difficult tasks.

If we don't avoid them, we start reducing them. Instead of doing the excess, we do the minimum. Then, slowly, we start doing less then that. If no one jumps on our case, we try getting away with doing less than that. Eventually, we get in trouble and our motivation picks up again. However, motivation reduces even quicker this time and we're back to our old habits.

I see it all the time in ADHD students. They start out the year great, then start to do worse and worse. Report cards come out and they do a little bit better. But soon they are back to doing poorly again.

I wish I could say that I have some wisdom on how to fix this. All I can say is that it is one of the burdens that comes with being blessed enough to have ADHD. Also, sometimes knowing and understanding it helps overcome it. Or at least, it helps you understand.

Right now, I know I need to find some way to motivate myself to complete my duties for Suite 101. I might set up a set time where I complete them. I might reward myself with a special treat: such as breakfast at Dunkin Doughnuts. Sure, I could do this anyway, but it's more enjoyable if I know I earned it. Doing these things help me get the tasks done that I have to do. Once they are done, I spend more time enjoying the things I want to do.

Which I am off to do.

Best regards,

Darcy

Posted by Darcy Andries

It's been four years since I stopped coaching. I worked at it for a year before I realized that I was only halfway good at it. While I feel I was good at teaching effective ADHD management, I wasn't good at the business aspects of it.

Truthfully, I am a very blunt person. A trait that's common in people with ADHD but not one is good when trying to run a business.

That's something that we often forget: you be good at something but if you don't have all the necessary skills to do the job, you'll never make it very far.

Finding the perfect job when you have ADHD can be difficult and takes some trial and error, not to mention hard work. That's part of why having an ADHD coach can be nice. These people have the education and the experience to work with people with ADHD PLUS they want to help you work through your struggles and become successful.

Plus, it's nice to have someone who understands for a change and doesn't condemn. We all need someone like that in our lives. For more on ADHD Coaching, check out the Introduction to ADHD Coaching.

Best Wishes,

Darcy Andries

Posted by Darcy Andries

Steve Irwin was never officially diagnosed with ADHD, but he certainly had enough of the qualities to make him an honorary member. His enthusiasm and energy was unsurpassed and he will missed.

Any time someone dies young it should make you draw together your loved ones and spend a few more precious moments than you might normally.

I believe that everything happens for a reason, even our tragedies. It's hard to see any good coming of Steve's death, but I feel he has been quite a role model. His life is a testament to the power a person with (or potentially with) ADHD can have over entire nations when they combine mind and passion.

There are times in every ADHD person's life that they feel they cannot and will not ever do anything right. When you feel that way, think of it as a sign that it wasn't meant to be and focus on finding what needs to be.

Steve Irwin might have lived longer, but wouldn’t have lasted very long, behind a desk. He was found what he loved and was good at and any negatives in his personality seemed to pale in comparison to his positives. Sure, he had a few impulsive moments that got him in trouble. But doesn't everyone?

I know I do. That's why I took the time to write down and post a few of the positive aspects of ADHD. Sometimes we all need a little cheering up.

Rest in Peace, Steve. I hope I manage to touch one person's life the way you've touched so many.

Darcy Andries.

Posted by Darcy Andries

Do you "suffer" from ADHD? Or does your family?

I was filling out a health questionnaire today and one of the questions asked: "Do you or someone in your household suffer from ADD/ADHD?"

That irked me. Because, no, I don't suffer from it. I have been diagnosed from it, but I don't SUFFER from it.

To suffer means "to undergo, be subjected to, or endure (pain, distress, injury, loss, or anything unpleasant." I don't feel that being ADHD is bad or even a negative. I work very hard to fall back and use that terminology when referring to ADHD.

Some people have ADHD; some people suffer from ADHD. But not everybody who suffers from ADHD has it.

I was once working with a man and his daughter who were both diagnosed with ADHD. He kept talking about how she suffered and he suffered and using the ADHD as an excuse.

Finally, I said to him, "You don't suffer from ADHD. If any one suffers from it, your wife does. You're dealing with the problems it causes—she is. You're using your diagnosis as a excuse not to the things you don't want to do or find difficult. And you're teaching your daughter to do the same."

I'll admit that the man was not quite ready to hear this, but his wife gave me a standing ovation. He came to me because he was looking for someone to tell him it was all right to be unorganized, impulsive and to not follow through on things. He thought that since I was ADHD, I would understand. I did. I just didn't agree.

Yes, there are drawbacks to having ADHD, but there are advantages, too. After all, another word for impulsive is spontaneous? And another word for hyperactive is energetic?

I believe ADHD is a gift. The analogy I frequently use is like getting a puppy. It can be fun and exciting, but it requires work. And if you work hard enough eventually you can minimize the problems. The don't go away, but they do lessen enough that you can start to enjoy being ADHD.

I do.

Best wishes, Darcy Andries

Posted by Darcy Andries

One question I get asked by parents is how to deal with a troublesome teacher that doesn't seem to want to listen to the suggestions on how to deal with their child. This is quite a dilemma and ends up being a battle of the experts.

On one side you have the parents who are experts on their child and really feel they know what is best.

On the other side you have the teacher who is an expert on their classroom and really feel that they know what is best.

Who's right? Unfortunately, neither side is usually right. Parents generally don't understand the limitations and frustrations that come with teaching. While teachers tend to get stuck in "their way" of doing things and have a hard time adapting to some students. After all, "their way" works for majority of the students, why should they have to change for just one?

So what do you do?

Sadly, there is no one answer for this question. A lot has to do with the teacher and the parents. But the main thing is to communicate—nicely, politely and quickly. Parents, please remember that teachers have a very limited time to talk and say things as quickly as possible. And teachers, please remember that just because you think a parent doesn't understand, that doesn't make them wrong.

Best of Wishes, Darcy Andries

Posted by Darcy Andries

Greetings!

I feel like its been forever since I've posted. Although, my absence wasn't entirely my fault. Servers were being updated here at Suite 101 and we were unable to update for about two days. That got me onto other projects and I've only now been able to get back here.

I've posted two more strategy sections. There should be twelve in total. If you've missed any you can find them at classroom environment, teaching style, writing assignments and in-class work and homework.

I worry about posting them because I never feel they are incomplete. I am always coming across new ideas. But then, part of being ADHD means not allowing excuses for not completing work. We can find the most valid reasons for avoiding work when we want to.

I hope that the strategies are helpful. School year has just started, but it's best to get things in order now before they become huge problems that need to be addressed. I address the strategies to teachers, but many of them are good for parents as well.

Best of Luck!

Darcy Andries.

Posted by Darcy Andries

Students with ADHD and ADD are annoying.

We are. I'm sorry, but we annoy teachers, we annoy each other, we even annoy ourselves. To make things worse, schools are the worst environment for students with attention deficit. We are bombarded by constant stimulus and forced to sit still for long periods.

What I find most hypocritical about teachers is their own behavior. I've always wanted to tape teachers at meetings. They would sit there grading papers (instead of sitting up with their eyes focused on the speaker), they would talk to people next to them (instead of being quiet), and genuinely exhibit all the ADHD behaviors they spent their day complaining about. I once had a teacher pull a student with ADHD out of class because he was "drawing" during her lecture. It was impossible to make her understand that by drawing he was actually able to focus his attention better than if he wasn't.

I also frequently got in trouble during college for what was considered "off task" behaviors. I learned that by doing crossword puzzles, I actually focused on lectures better than if I tried to sit and listen. I explained this to teachers and encouraged them to call on me in order to prove that I was listening. The teachers understood; other students—who ironically were in class to learn to be teachers—didn't. They would tell me I was being rude or shoot me dirty looks. I learned to shrug it off. I knew the teacher understood and besides, I was getting A's in the class. If that wasn't proof I was pay attention, I don't know what would convince them.

Hopefully, teacher will check out Part 1 and Part 2 of my series on strategies for schools. I also urge parents and students to check them out. Perhaps you'll find something that works at home or something you can suggest to your teacher. Communication is the key to any situation and it is always better to work with a teacher than to work against them.

Darcy Andries

Posted by Darcy Andries

I used to like Tom Cruise. I have serious issues with him now. But in all honesty, he started it.

I don't know what possessed him to go on the Today Show and start questioning Matt Lauer about the uses of Adderall and Ritalin. Last I checked, Cruise wasn't a medical doctor, I don't think he's even played one on the big screen. The only thing that made the whole situation worse was the follow up by CBS News asking "Was Tom Cruise Right?"

Was he right? The whole situation made me livid and I still get pretty steamed when I think about it. Not because he questioned how stimulant medication (like Adderall and Ritalin) might be abused and over-prescribed. I understand those are legitimate issues. And although I address them slightly in FAQs about ADD and ADHD, I will address them in greater detail down the road. What makes me upset is how people use those issues and attach it to the concept that ADHD isn't a "real" disorder. That all ADHDers, like me, are just drug addicts without real problems.

I'm glad that Paramount Pictures came out and said that, "His recent conduct has not been acceptable." In my opinion, it was about a year and a half late, but I'll take what I can get. I know that Cruise won't starve to death from this latest job loss and he will come out with another movie.

I hope he does. I hope that he sticks to acting, because he doesn't appear to know much about medicine. And what's worse that doctors prescribing medication incorrectly, are people trying to prescribe—or prevent medical doctors from prescribing—medication when they are not qualified to do so.

But that's just my opinion on the issue.

Darcy Andries

Posted by Darcy Andries

Whew! I can't believe that I have already uploaded ten articles already. I have so much that I want to put up here, but it takes time to organize it and format it that I get frustrated sometimes. Hey, I'm ADHD. I want it all done NOW, if not sooner.

I do have plans to post a bunch of school related articles this week. I would have done it today, but I felt it necessary to follow up my other three articles on impulsiveness, hyperactivity, and inattention with strategies. I have taken time to write down many of the suggestions I have given to parents and teachers over the years and just need to proof them once more before they are posted. Having been both an ADHD teacher and an ADHD student, this is the one area I am extremely qualified. Expect a couple articles every day this week. I'll slow down eventually, but right now I have so much I want to cover that I feel it will take years.

As I combed the internet last night, I realized that there are very few sites that give practical suggestions on what works. I have oodles of strategies. Give me time and I will get as much up here as I can as quickly as I can. I also have the outlines for some articles on medications and alternatives to medication. I have found a lot of misleading information out there on ADHD medications. I warn you, I am strongly in favor of meds (being on them myself), but I am also understanding of the drawbacks and fears. I don't buy in to the "over diagnosed" theory, but I have seen many misdiagnosed children put on medication, too.

So that's where I'm going: School-issues, strategies, and medication. I have a vague idea where things will lead me from there, but I'm making no promises. If I see an issue that needs to be addressed, expect me to take action. If you have something you'd like to see addressed, email me. My Suite 101 email should be working by the end of the middle of the week.

Best Regards, Darcy

Posted by Darcy Andries

I hate the terms "attention deficit hyperactivity disorder" and "attention deficit disorder." Don't we have enough issues without being labeled as having not just a deficit but a disorder as well? One of them should have been sufficient. Besides, we don't have a deficit of attention. We have plenty of attention; we simply can't regulate it. I am paying attention to a whole lot, which is why it is so hard to focus on that one thing I am supposed to be doing. More importantly, I'd like to point out that I am not disordered. The mere term suggests that everyone else is "ordered" and I've met many people who don't have ADHD, and they are not ordered.

To make matters worse, the whole term misunderstanding of ADD versus ADHD gets confusing. Logically, I know that the correct medical term is ADHD, but some people write it as AD/HD. Worse, I know that some people misunderstand ADHD as being one subtype and ADD as being the other and I don't want to confuse them by using one term in an article. So I find myself writing "ADD/ADHD" and "ADD or ADHD" and it gets very tedious. I want one term and I want a more accurate.

Sure, we have come a long way. After all, the term used to be "minimal brain dysfunction" and then it was "hyperkinetic disorder of childhood." But considering that half of the term now is "deficit disorder," I don't feel we've improved that much. At least with ADD we could come up with all these great terms. When I had my own coaching business, I called "ADDed Possibilities" even though I knew it should actually be ADHDed Possibilities."

I know my hopes for a better name will never be realized. Just as I know that bookstores will never move the ADHD books out of the children's section, even when the title includes the word "adult" in it. But I can dream, right? And as my brother said to me once, "There's a reason they call it ADD and not MINUS."

Gotta love him for that.

Darcy