Children with ADD may be hyperactive, inattentive, and impulsive. They may be extremely active, fidgety, talkative and restless. They have difficulty paying attention, forget things easily, and interrupt others. These symptoms can result in being frequently disciplined both at home and at school. Kids may also feel shunned and negatively perceived by their peers.
Children with ADD are often characterized as being "naughty by nature" and may hear repeatedly from parents, teachers and friends that they are "not normal," "weird," or are incapable of behaving. While parenting an ADD child can sometimes be a frustrating experience, parents must caution themselves against affirming a continuous, negative image of their child.
There are many things that parents can do to actively build their child’s confidence and counteract some of the negative effects of ADD symptoms.
Increase the Child’s Chances for Success
- Form an Individualized Education Plan at the child’s school to ensure an open dialogue between parents, teachers, counselors, and school administration.
- Read these tips to get an ADD child’s attention both at home and in school.
- Teach the child how to maintain a daily planner to keep track of his assignments and appointments so that he realizes that he is not a "forgetful person."
- Allow the child to participate in activities that he both enjoys and excels at.
- Do homework or other difficult activities with him if he needs help so that he does not feel he is left to struggle alone.
Teach Peers about ADD and Encourage Social Ties
- Read about how to encourage friendships in ADD children.
- Speak to the teacher about having a class discussion period about ADD to education students about the nature of the disorder and to encourage them to view ADD peers as normal children who simply struggle a little more than average.
- Teach the child proper social cues and manners, such as how to ask a friend how they are doing that day, or how to respond when they are asked a question. Practice responses with "play-acts."
Praise and Rewards
Children with ADD often hear what they are doing wrong or how they have acted inappropriately. Parents and teachers can sometimes get into a routine of reinforcing the child’s negative behaviors and letting his positive traits slip through the cracks. It is very important that all adults involved in the child’s life heap lavish praise on the child’s positive behaviors. If he remembers to clear his plate from the table, tell him. If he completes his homework without a tantrum, praise him.
Another form of praise comes with a reward system. Parents should hand out stickers or treats for good behavior, and make a chart so that the child can see their tangible progress.
Other Methods for Boosting Self-Esteem
There are other ways for parents to care for their ADD child to ensure that they develop a positive self-esteem.
- Never compare the child with non-ADD siblings or peers.
- Make sure that the child has a nutritional, balanced diet and a daily exercise regiment.
- Engage the child in at least one fun, non-judgmental activity per day.
- Praise the child’s unique talents and personality traits.
- Take the child out to "see the world" – to museums, libraries, parks, bowling alleys – even if you aren’t sure if he "deserves" it. Every kid can benefit from special time with his parents.
- Teach the child that it feels good to do nice things for other people. Take him volunteering or on good deed errands.
It can be easy for frustrated parents to forget that their ADD child needs just as much, if not more, love and positive attention to raise his self-esteem. Negative self-esteem can lead to future difficulties, such as promiscuity, drug and alcohol abuse, criminal activity and more. It is well worth the extra time to praise a child, take him out to enjoy his environment, and increase his chances for success in school.
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